- "A relationship without good communication isn't a relationship, it's a living arrangement."
- "Always budget the luxuries first."
- "Appreciation is the lubrication of life."
- "Argue for your limitations - and you get to keep them."
- "Be kind to your web-footed friends for a duck could be somebody's mother."
- "Better thee than me!"
- "Blessed Be."
- "Feelings are the only real things in this world because they're all we take with us when we leave. The rest is just stuff."
- "I think I'll just put it right in your hot little hand!"
- "Laughter is the greatest gift."
- "Let's kill him now and avoid the Christmas rush."
- "Self-pity is the most pernicious of vices."
- "Shape up or sheep out!"
- "So. Another good candidate for a retroactive abortion."
- "Sometimes I feel like the Last Whale."
- "The meaning of life is to learn and have fun. That's why we're here."
- "Well, hello there you silly bird, why are you sitting on my finger?"
- "A true friend will always tell you the truth, even if it's something you don't want to hear."